In a gross misjudgment of what my arteries were capable of handling in a 24-hour period, I visited the Stoned Crow and Royale back to back this week, sampling the burgers at both. Comparing the two is like comparing Steely Dan and the Eagles: finesse versus excess.
Royale is the more controlled of the pair. (but not overly so; it’s Skunk Baxter-era Dan). The absorbent brioche bun ably handles the patty, which is flat and not oversized vis a vis the bread. Bonus points to Royale for improvements like ditching the potato wedges for the classic thin cut fries they now serve. (There’s that studio perfectionism!) It’s not as fast-foody as Burger Joint and its ilk, but not mammoth, either. A third burger way, if you will.
Stoned Crow, however, is just big. It’s from the fist of meat school, and medium burgers have a lot of pink-to-red in the center. Like the Bistro Burger (from whence the kitchen staff emanates) the bun is hopelessly overrun, much like Glenn Frey’s septum during the the 1970s. I don’t mind the mess, but between the pickles and bacon, it’s hard to keep it all together without pieces of burger going everywhere.
I prefer the smooth meatiness of the Royale burger, but it’s more a personal decision and less about the relative merits of the two—there’s no accounting for taste. After all, isn’t the Eagles Greatest Hits record still the top-selling album of all time?
